Impressive and somewhat frightening that Amazon has annual revenues bigger than half of the countries in the world.
Gongratulations Jeff.
Feel free to add this graphic to your blog:
Friday, November 18, 2011
Amazing Amazon.com
Impressive and somewhat frightening that Amazon has annual revenues bigger than half of the countries in the world.
Gongratulations Jeff.
Feel free to add this graphic to your blog:
Friday, October 14, 2011
My other web profiles
In the last period, I have dedicated more of my time to software developing activities, so I have some new web profiles:
Hope to see you there too
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Real Ghost Story
LOUISIANA GHOST STORY
This happened about a month ago just outside
of Cocodrie, a little town in the bayou country
of Louisiana , and while it sounds like an Alfred
Hitchcock tale, it's real.
This out of state traveler was on the side of
the road, hitchhiking on a real dark night
in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and
no cars went by.
It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in
front of his face.
Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and
appearing
ghostlike in the rain It slowly and silently
crept toward him and stopped.
Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and
closed the
door; only then did he realize that there was
nobody behind the wheel,
and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.
Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was
terrified, too scared
to think of jumping out and running.
The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve
and,
still too scared to jump out, he started to pray
and begging for his life; he was sure
the ghost car would go off the road and in the bayou and
he would surely drown!
But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at
the driver's window and a hand reached
in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely
around the
bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared
through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again!
Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear
every time they reached a curve.
Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could
take and jumped out of the car and ran to town.
Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice
quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey,
then told everybody about his supernatural experience.
A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when
they realized the guy was
telling the truth (and not just some drunk).
About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and
one says to the other,
"Look Boudreaux, ders dat idiot that rode in our car
when we wuz pushin it in the rain."
This happened about a month ago just outside
of Cocodrie, a little town in the bayou country
of Louisiana , and while it sounds like an Alfred
Hitchcock tale, it's real.
This out of state traveler was on the side of
the road, hitchhiking on a real dark night
in the middle of a thunderstorm. Time passed slowly and
no cars went by.
It was raining so hard he could hardly see his hand in
front of his face.
Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching and
appearing
ghostlike in the rain It slowly and silently
crept toward him and stopped.
Wanting a ride real bad the guy jumped in the car and
closed the
door; only then did he realize that there was
nobody behind the wheel,
and no sound of an engine to be heard over the rain.
Again the car crept slowly forward and the guy was
terrified, too scared
to think of jumping out and running.
The guy saw that the car was approaching a sharp curve
and,
still too scared to jump out, he started to pray
and begging for his life; he was sure
the ghost car would go off the road and in the bayou and
he would surely drown!
But just before the curve a shadowy figure appeared at
the driver's window and a hand reached
in and turned the steering wheel, guiding the car safely
around the
bend. Then, just as silently, the hand disappeared
through the window and the hitchhiker was alone again!
Paralyzed with fear, the guy watched the hand reappear
every time they reached a curve.
Finally the guy, scared to near death, had all he could
take and jumped out of the car and ran to town.
Wet and in shock, he went into a bar and voice
quavering, ordered two shots of whiskey,
then told everybody about his supernatural experience.
A silence enveloped and everybody got goose bumps when
they realized the guy was
telling the truth (and not just some drunk).
About half an hour later two guys walked into the bar and
one says to the other,
"Look Boudreaux, ders dat idiot that rode in our car
when we wuz pushin it in the rain."
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
You May Be a Taliban If...
1. You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've often uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
2. You own a $3,000 machine gun and $5,000 rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
3. You have more wives than teeth.
4. You wipe your butt with your bare left hand, but consider bacon "unclean."
5. You think vests come in two styles: bullet-proof and suicide.
6. You can't think of anyone you HAVEN'T declared Jihad against.
7. You consider television dangerous, but routinely carry explosives in your clothing.
8. You were amazed to discover that cell phones have uses other than setting off roadside bombs.
9. You've often uttered the phrase, "I love what you've done with your cave."
10. You have nothing against women and think every man should own at least one.
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
21 Hints for a Happy Life
1. Marry the right person . This one decision will determine 90% of your happiness or misery.
2. Work at something you enjoy and that's worthy of your time and talent.
3. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
4. Become the most positive and enthusiastic person you know.
5. Be forgiving of yourself and others.
6. Be generous.
7. Have a grateful heart.
8. Persistence , persistence, persistence.
9. Discipline yourself to save money on even the most modest salary.
10. Treat everyone you meet like you want to be treated.
11. Commit yourself to constant improvement.
12. Commit yourself to quality.
13. Understand that happiness is not based on possessions , power or prestige , but on relationship with people you love and respect.
14. Be loyal.
15. Be honest .
16. Be a self-starter.
17. Be decisive even it it means you'll sometimes be wrong.
18. Stop blaming others. Take responsibility for every area of your life.
19. Be bold and courageous. When you look back on your life, you'll regret the things you didn't do more than the ones you did.
20. Take good care of those you love.
21. Don't do anything that wouldn't make your Mom proud.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
How to please your IT Department
1. When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it
buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals,
dried flowers, bowling trophies and children's art. We don't have a
life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.
2. Don't write anything down. Ever. We can play back the error
messages from here.
3. When an I.T. person says he's coming right over, go for coffee.
That way you won't be there when we need your password. It's nothing for
us
to remember 700 screen saver passwords.
4. When you call the help desk, state what you want, not what's
keeping you from getting it. We don't need to know that you can't get
into
your mail because your computer won't power on at all.
5. When I.T. support sends you an E-Mail with high importance, delete
it at once. We're just testing.
6. When an I.T. person is eating lunch at his desk, walk right in and
spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.
7. Send urgent email all in uppercase. The mail server picks it up and
flags it as a rush delivery.
8. When the photocopier doesn't work, call computer support. There's
electronics in it.
9. When you're getting a NO DIAL TONE message at home, call computer
support. We can fix your telephone line from here.
10. When you have a dozen old computer screens to get rid of, call
computer support. We're collectors.
11. When something's wrong with your home PC, dump it on an I.T.
person's chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the
problem. We love a puzzle.
12. When an I.T. person tells you that computer screens don't have
cartridges in them, argue. We love a good argument.
13. When an I.T. person tells you that he'll be there shortly, reply
in a scathing tone of voice: "And just how many weeks do you mean by
shortly?". That motivates us.
14. When the printer won't print, re-send the job at least 20 times.
Print jobs frequently get sucked into black holes.
15. When the printer still won't print after 20 tries, send the job to
all 68 printers in the company. One of them is bound to work.
16. Don't learn the proper name for anything technical. We know
exactly what you mean by "My thingy blew up".
17. Don't use on-line help. On-line help is for wimps.
18. If the mouse cable keeps knocking down the framed picture of your
dog, lift the computer and stuff the cable under it. Mouse cables were
designed to have 20kg of computer sitting on top of them.
19. If the space bar on your keyboard doesn't work, blame it on the
mail upgrade. Keyboards are actually very happy with half a pound of
muffin
crumbs and nail clippings in them.
20. When you get a message saying "Are you sure?" click on that "Yes"
button as fast as you can. Hell, if you weren't sure, you wouldn't be
doing it, would you?
21. When you find an I.T. person on the phone with his bank, sit
uninvited on the corner of his desk and stare at him until he hangs
up. We don't have any money to speak of anyway.
22. Feel perfectly free to say things like "I don't know nothing about
that computer crap". We don't mind at all hearing our area of
professional expertise referred to as crap.
23. When you need to change the toner cartridge in a printer, call
I.T. support. Changing a toner cartridge is an extremely complex task,
and
Hewlett-Packard recommends that it be performed only by a professional
engineer with a master's degree in nuclear physics.
24. When something's the matter with your computer, ask your secretary
to call the help desk. We enjoy the challenge of having to deal with a
third party who doesn't know anything about the problem.
25. When you receive a 50mb (huge) movie file, send it to everyone as
a mail attachment. We've got lots of disk space on that mail server.
26. Don't even think of breaking large print jobs down into smaller
chunks. Somebody else might get a chance to squeeze a memo into the
queue.
27. When you lose your car keys, send an email to the entire company.
People out in Pofadder like to keep abreast of what's going on.
28. When you bump into an I.T. person at the grocery store on a
Saturday, ask a computer question. We do weekends.
29. Don't bother to tell us when you move computers around on your
own. Computer names are just a cosmetic feature.
30. When you bring your own personal home PC for repair at the office,
leave the documentation at home. We'll find all the settings and
drivers somewhere.
31. Keep it crashing!
Monday, December 22, 2008
Great Ideas to entertain men
I've done a few of these. It made the trips worthwhile, to me. Okay,
okay. I just did number 13.
The other's I haven't tried will be soon.
I would appreciate other activities you all might think of to keep me
entertained (and not arrested).
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most
women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following
letter from the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in
our store.We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below
and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1.June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they
weren't looking.
2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite
them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding
department.
8. August 23:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.
10. September 10:
While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.
11. October 3:My Favorite
Darted around the store, suspiciously, while loudly humming theMission
Impossible' theme ..
12. October 6:
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different
sizes of funnels.
13. October 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME!
14. October 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position
and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...
15. October 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
okay. I just did number 13.
The other's I haven't tried will be soon.
I would appreciate other activities you all might think of to keep me
entertained (and not arrested).
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most
women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following
letter from the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in
our store.We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below
and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1.June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they
weren't looking.
2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite
them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding
department.
8. August 23:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.
10. September 10:
While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.
11. October 3:My Favorite
Darted around the store, suspiciously, while loudly humming theMission
Impossible' theme ..
12. October 6:
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different
sizes of funnels.
13. October 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME!
14. October 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position
and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...
15. October 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
PS: I received this on a mailing list I am subscribed to. I don't know who wrote it originally but is extremely funny and it would be a loss not to share
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