okay. I just did number 13.
The other's I haven't tried will be soon.
I would appreciate other activities you all might think of to keep me
entertained (and not arrested).
This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most
women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following
letter from the local Wal-Mart.
Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in
our store.We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both
of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below
and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.
1.June 15:
Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they
weren't looking.
2. July 2:
Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7:
Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom.
4. July 19:
Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in
Housewares. Get on it right away.'
5. August 4:
Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.
6. August 14:
Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. August 15:
Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite
them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding
department.
8. August 23:
When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why
can't you people just leave me alone?'
9. September 4:
Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he
picked his nose.
10. September 10:
While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the
antidepressants were.
11. October 3:My Favorite
Darted around the store, suspiciously, while loudly humming theMission
Impossible' theme ..
12. October 6:
In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different
sizes of funnels.
13. October 18:
Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME!
14. October 21:
When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position
and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
And last, but not least...
15. October 23:
Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very
loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'
PS: I received this on a mailing list I am subscribed to. I don't know who wrote it originally but is extremely funny and it would be a loss not to share
25 comments :
LOL! I love it.. only my situation is completely the opposite! I hate, hate, hate shopping and my husband loves it. I start to whine after 10 minutes. I always encourage him to go by himself.
That is truly hilarious!!! Thanks for the giggle.
When it comes time to cash out, I like to go through the checkout lane and put up a big bag dog food up on the conveyor so it get's scanned first. Then, when the toilet paper comes up on the belt, pause and ask the cashier "Do you think that will be enough toilet paper for that much dog food?"
P.S. not sure where I heard it, but I do it all the time. It works with dogfood and milk too! My wife absolutely hates it.
LOL to theBandwidthHog - I don't have the balls to do this with my wife. I might not receive cooked food for a week or two, or might get forced to sleep on the stairways
Oh my freaking gawd... That's a great list! Thanks for sharing :)
Indeed, a fabulous set. thank you for sharing this with everyone
The 13th stands out as a "Pleasantly disruptive move", quite unpredictable
Men squirming about Shopping trips is quite universal a fact...men walk around desperately seeking an escape from the turmoil of being on a shopping trip in India too.
Shopping destinations should understand men's plight and plug in "Male-like entertainment spots' to their layout, like Cigars savouring chamber, Gaming,screens playing Football etc.
:)
Hysterical! May I copy? (Will give credit)
@auberginefleur - of course you can
It's hilarious! :D
And thanks for the visit and the add to you MyBlogLog. However, I don't think I have a MyBlogLog account.
LOL really funny...may i copy it too? :-)
Thanks for the laugh, and the visit to MyBlogLog --still haven't quite figured out how that works.
Your a little devil, mischievous but funny. Im of Romany blood in Canada and recently recieved your blog in the yahoo-groups
Im Countryrom in the avatars
what did you need to know?
HAHAHA... really made me laugh out loud.. thanks for posting it...
That's hilarious! Can I steal it?
Ha Ha those were real funny. I have them actually posted at my work desk but to actually do them would be even funnier..
Very witty, Lol!
I wish it was true and I would like to congratulate the human who did that.
Unfortunately I am a woman and I sometimes tend to browse, however I hate shopping - I want to go in and go out and not waste my time.
Now though I have some other things I could pracitce in a shop!
Thanks for sharing this. Lol
"Oh no...it's those voices again!" =))
ROTFLMAO!!!!!!! This is tooooo hilarious. Thanks.
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